My Newfound Friend-Making Powers
Since the birth of my twins, I have talked to more people, made more new friends, and generally experienced a more extroverted lifestyle than ever before. Never before babies would I have talked to strangers, initiated conversations with those I don't know, commiserated with literally anyone who would listen, or suggested that we get together simply because we have one thing in common: parenthood. There's something about parenthood that tethers us all together - an unspoken common denominator, a sense of knowing. Now, just seeing someone out in public with a baby - or young kids - I think, I know. We are the same.
This likeness that we have, this collective understanding, suddenly draws us together in an understanding of the long (yet rapid) passing of days, the countless sleepless nights, the refined juggling and multitasking skills, the pride and exhilaration of watching milestones be met and little human beings grow, the thankless days, the all-consuming love. We suddenly have this one huge thing in common. We know.
I must admit, part of the reason I am especially social these days is because I have not one, but two babies. Simply having twins puts you in the spotlight. This twin power is alluring, fascinating, and mysterious, pulling in even more opportunities for conversation. Unwanted conversation? Maybe. Strange and intrusive questions? Yes. Repetitive and monotonous question answering? Absolutely. But the point is, there are so many more opportunities for interaction and connection with others - and even more so when you meet another twin mom.
Before I had babies, I never would have spotted another girl at the park and thought, we both have the same purse - we should be friends! Now it's as simple as, we both have the same stroller/same diaper bag/similar aged babies - we should be friends! And then, just like that, we have a million things to talk about. And maybe we exchange numbers and hang out again.
On top of the obvious connection of parenthood, I am often looking for a way to keep that lonely and isolated feeling away that can tag along with parenting. Some days, I feel like a slave to nap schedules, meals and snacks, little ones demanding to be held, household chores and dragging babies around to do errands. There isn't always time to meet up with other people. Being a parent is never boring, but can at times feel a little lonely. Sometimes running errands with a friend (and her kiddos) is all that I need to feel connected to others. Sometimes it's a commiserating text. Sometimes it's meeting up at the park or going for a walk. It's the moral support. Your day is hard, my day is hard. I know.
These twins of mine have given me a lot of special things, including my newfound-friend-making-superpower, and I like it! This sense of belonging and purpose that comes with parenthood links me to so many people, pulls me towards new experiences, and leaves me right in the middle of this crazy and wonderful life...supported by my new tribe.
Because, they know.